Think of avocado. Most people love avocado. There are many ways to eat it and some of us might prefer a recipe over another. Some people just hate avocado, no matter how you dress or disguise it, they will never like it. Other people don’t care what avocado tastes like, they just have a memory of a time when they ate it and something bad happened, now they can’t stand to think of it. Some other people have had the opposite experience.
Who is right? Who’s wrong?
Truth is, everyone is right.
Our tastes and preferences are all ok, and at the same time, we do our best to understand and accept that others are different. No big deal. This is the same when it comes to emotions and our reaction to certain experiences and interactions with others.
The way we react to something (someone), is not based on this one particular experience. The way we react to it is based on ALL of our life experiences, and even pre-birth ones.
Our reactions are also affected by the associations our brain develops between different stimuli and how it perceives that we can be affected by it, which might not make logical sense, but to our subconscious it makes perfect sense.
Our brain associates traumatic situations -life or death ones - with specific noises, smells, people, etc. and whenever we experience any of those, our body reacts in full panic and emergency mode. We can understand this and we sympathize with those suffering from PTSD. We don’t think they are over reacting, we know they have something to heal and try to support them as best we can. We are compassionate towards them.
Unfortunately, we humans all suffer from mild and unrecognized cases of PTSD.
During our life we collect experiences and make emotional associations every day. We also have personal themes and patters. We collect experiences that are similar (or feel similar) to other ones in our lives and that is what determines how intense our reactions are.
Those experiences that felt very traumatic from early childhood, if not emotionally resolved, become our intense triggers. They make us have super intense reactions to situations most people consider irrelevant.
Did you know that animals have a very immediate and natural way of “completing” traumatic situations that we as humans don’t possess?
This is why animals live in the now and don’t carry trauma or resentment. Here is how it works:
If a lion attacks a gazelle and she is able to escape and survive the attack, she will take a few minutes to shake or jump or convulse in order to “shake off” the emotions and fear of the traumatic situation. After that release, she goes back to the herd and moves on with her happy live as if nothing has happened. This does not nullify the instinctive knowledge that lions are a threat and she will still flee if a lion approaches, but without the weight of the previous experience to carry.
What happens for humans is that these type of events and the emotions they bring just accumulate in the body and the subconscious.
If we don’t become aware of them, we fall into the PTSD type response and we can become a person that lives captive of the same experiences and intense responses to them. We become “dramatic” or “over-reactive” to some triggers.
So, next time you want to label someone as a “drama queen” or “too intense”, just remember that they are just showing what type of patterns they have experienced, and you will know that the intense response has a reason to be.
We can also work on self-awareness and decipher our own triggers, so that we can let go of those pent up emotions and avoid having strong (or even aggressive) reactions under any situation.
Energy healing is one of the best ways I have experienced to pin-point and release that type of trauma. Counselling, meditation, and self-awareness practice can all help with it too.
All we need is love … and maybe a hug.