Here I am… 2 years after. Here’s what the journey looks like from the inside.
I bought Breakthrough Centre 2 years ago, and at that time this opportunity was the clear and loud answer from the Universe to my pledge for help in re-directing my life.
When Breakthrough came up for sale I closed my eyes and jumped right in. It was a wonderful and amazing feeling… It was a miracle!!!
I was, all of a sudden, right in the middle of the spiritual and healing world in Brampton, with the ability and the responsibility to continue a tradition of 20 + years; to be there and make the tools and support that people need available to them with love and caring.
The first year went by in a haze.
From the world of commercial construction to the world of spirituality, everything was different.
I was in love.
During that first year I basically just tried to keep myself going with the momentum of the change and based on what Breakthrough had been for its 20+ years in business.
I had tons to learn and to do. There were many new things that I had never done before, but it was a wonderful time. I was inebriated by the miracle and the welcome that many of you gave me into this world.
New and very intimate friendships started and have grown in this last 2 years, like the wonderful members of the Breakthrough woman’s circle; the many customers that are so much more than that to me and the practitioners that give so much of themselves and have taught me so much. I also learned much about my family by how they have supported me through the change so lovingly …
Slowly I then started to realize that just being enthusiastic and motivated was not enough to succeed.
Year 2 has been challenging.
My road to transformation has been interesting. I find that that the emerging of my true self to replace my old self has caused some disruptions.
For example, in the last year it has been very hard to focus. I have had trouble keeping up to date with my paperwork and coordinating dates and events. My energy level has been very low and much of it has been consumed in the learning and integration of new abilities, especially those related to the healing practice.
The Universe keeps guiding me towards the healing path more and more and less into the management aspect of the Centre, I am just learning to follow the signs and give up the “how will that happen?”. I am learning to just trust.
One thing that has been challenging for me is boundaries.
It is challenging to create healthy boundaries in the spiritual community … aren’t we supposed to be all one and giving and selfless after all?
However boundaries are important and necessary for a healthy relationship … I am working very hard on remembering that and respecting myself and others by creating boundaries in a loving way.
I am also working on forgiving myself for not being interested or capable of handling all administrative needs of my business; and choosing to delegate those to others who can do it better that me, Silvia – the accountant.
After the initial time of transition in which many were interested in seeing what Breakthrough would be like now, I realize that many have chosen to distance themselves from the Centre, and new relationships are built.
I am infinitely grateful to those who have chosen to stay and who have been very patient and loving with me, growing pains and all.
I couldn’t have made it without all of you.
To those who were with me for the short run, thank you for being there and what we learned together.
To those who have recently connected with me and the Centre, thank you for choosing us and I hope that we can continue to work together for a very long time.
During these 2 years I have felt fear, insecurity and just plain terror of failure. I wondered innumerable times how I was so lucky to end up here and thought of how undeserving I am.
I have feared many, many times that I might be the end of this wonderful healing place. I have thought that I could not live with that.
Now I think that I am here for a reason.
For good or evil I was meant to be here and I might as well enjoy the trip.
I am far from perfect, but I do love this world and the transformation that it has brought to my life.
I am grateful for the opportunity to be here and for however far I am destined to go with it.
Maybe my only lesson is to learn to be brave enough to keep going, even when I am terrified. Maybe I can do this in love and not in shame, the shame of not being good enough.
Maybe as I learn this lessons we start a new era in the history of Breakthrough, maybe it is time for growth and blossoming.
Maybe now the Universe can show me how to move into the practice of healing more and more and how to be able to find the support I need to take care of all other aspects of the management of the Centre.
I am a healer, I stand in my own power with the support of the Power that has brought me here. I walk through the fear as if it was fire because I want to know what lies ahead.
I hope you will choose to walk with me and figure out together what awaits us in the years to come.